oh my goodness
i am slipping under
every false move has me packing my bags again
it is such a fucking nightmare to me
that if i am really honest
i have been mentally packing my bags
since the very beginning
and now i finally hit a point that
i need to be sedated
to withstand it
can't figure out if he just showed up
when i was already slipping away
just doomed
or if he is part of this quicksand?
i can't believe this
my child just a baby
and i want another
even though i feel like it is just
little him who keeps me here at all
pack it up.
Friday, February 26, 2010
this endless loop
this endless loop
this reoccurring numbness awake, sleeping
sleeping, dreaming alive again
oh how i miss
you fucking killed me when you left
who would have known?
who could have thought?
fuck it is so old
i'm like a dead body lost at sea
you sail from port to port
alive and new
i guess, i pretend
today i actually prayed
"god, please help me, god please help me"
i am crying
i am always so fucking tired
sometimes i try to pinpoint where my life derailed
in vain
when i lost myself
to this sad
i cashed in when you left the table
and i've been moping around
with my consolation prize
remembering, stealing glimpses
getting bland and wrinkled
when did i shut off?
when did i stop growing? stop going?
how did i become so paralyzed?
why are my dreams just bullshit?
why am i unable to even know what i want
and make it happen?
how could sanity, or the lack of chaos be enough?
it is time to embrace solitude again
and to accept simple pleasures as gifts
it is always time to let you go
you never really gave a shit anyway
this reoccurring numbness awake, sleeping
sleeping, dreaming alive again
oh how i miss
you fucking killed me when you left
who would have known?
who could have thought?
fuck it is so old
i'm like a dead body lost at sea
you sail from port to port
alive and new
i guess, i pretend
today i actually prayed
"god, please help me, god please help me"
i am crying
i am always so fucking tired
sometimes i try to pinpoint where my life derailed
in vain
when i lost myself
to this sad
i cashed in when you left the table
and i've been moping around
with my consolation prize
remembering, stealing glimpses
getting bland and wrinkled
when did i shut off?
when did i stop growing? stop going?
how did i become so paralyzed?
why are my dreams just bullshit?
why am i unable to even know what i want
and make it happen?
how could sanity, or the lack of chaos be enough?
it is time to embrace solitude again
and to accept simple pleasures as gifts
it is always time to let you go
you never really gave a shit anyway
release
hallelujah the day is done
i am tired, but not exhausted
i took a few of the rocks out of my pockets
i am beside the river
i will walk away
i climbed out from behind that big heavy wall
of illusion and need
and it was easy
it was time
and it is better now
old old old we will grow
and young again and again
i am not sure what color this missing is?
maybe just ripe when i am alive
i don't know why i need it
how i could have lost this pen
my mind, for so long
so tired
oh oh oh my dears
you are all my loves
your are all bits and pieces of my beautiful
infinite mystery and truth
oh big eyes
words on these walls
old pretty things all around
little beautiful treasures
i don't know why i have always needed this
this place, this dream
why this place feels like home
all quiet now with the morning light
through the leaves
shadows dancing softly in this sleepy morning
i keep you on your own dusty shrine
for reasons beyond reason
and this release brings my tears
i've held on for so long now
now i am free
the day is done
it took me so very long to get here
but the ride home will be faster
it is like that
are you sleeping now?
let's go have just a little bit more
before choo choo change tracks again
oh my dear i love you
and so release
and thank you
i am tired, but not exhausted
i took a few of the rocks out of my pockets
i am beside the river
i will walk away
i climbed out from behind that big heavy wall
of illusion and need
and it was easy
it was time
and it is better now
old old old we will grow
and young again and again
i am not sure what color this missing is?
maybe just ripe when i am alive
i don't know why i need it
how i could have lost this pen
my mind, for so long
so tired
oh oh oh my dears
you are all my loves
your are all bits and pieces of my beautiful
infinite mystery and truth
oh big eyes
words on these walls
old pretty things all around
little beautiful treasures
i don't know why i have always needed this
this place, this dream
why this place feels like home
all quiet now with the morning light
through the leaves
shadows dancing softly in this sleepy morning
i keep you on your own dusty shrine
for reasons beyond reason
and this release brings my tears
i've held on for so long now
now i am free
the day is done
it took me so very long to get here
but the ride home will be faster
it is like that
are you sleeping now?
let's go have just a little bit more
before choo choo change tracks again
oh my dear i love you
and so release
and thank you
alien
and that alien
what the fuck is his deal anyway?
why so quiet?
what is this game?
solitaire?
amnesia?
cat got your tongue?
get that shard out of my eye,
or heart, or toe
or out of yours,
up yours! ha!
why do you get all of this?
why don't you get it?
you never wanted it anyway
i know that
don't i have anything better to do
than
orbit you?
what the fuck is his deal anyway?
why so quiet?
what is this game?
solitaire?
amnesia?
cat got your tongue?
get that shard out of my eye,
or heart, or toe
or out of yours,
up yours! ha!
why do you get all of this?
why don't you get it?
you never wanted it anyway
i know that
don't i have anything better to do
than
orbit you?
choice
why to you hate yourself?
why do you kill yourself?
why do you make yourself so ugly
when you are truly brilliant and beautiful?
or really a dumbass snake
just a little charmed fool?
how do i hang on?
why do i throw it out?
all these years, years gone by
what am i fishing for anyway?
when i have it all safe and cozy
but i steal away
to walk through that old swamp again and again
in the dark
the gators can't get me
i wrestle, dance,
and slip by the snakes
but the leaches sometimes kill me a little
i can not forget to pull them off
to be free again
get the fuck out of the swamp dumby
it is creepy and unnecessary!
get out.
go on a fucking picnic already
in a sunny place
where pink flowers fall from the sky
raining beautiful all around you
don't get bit
enjoy the beauty, the grace
say goodbye first
you are lost enough already
go home
scoop up your loves
and win
be the big winner
of the most fabulous prize of all
and soak up the kisses and the lovin
and love it
and give it all back
don't take it for granted
don't scatter all of your magic
to the winds
plant the most where it counts
make your garden divine,
your castle strong,
your temple holy,
your sweethearts happy.
why do you kill yourself?
why do you make yourself so ugly
when you are truly brilliant and beautiful?
or really a dumbass snake
just a little charmed fool?
how do i hang on?
why do i throw it out?
all these years, years gone by
what am i fishing for anyway?
when i have it all safe and cozy
but i steal away
to walk through that old swamp again and again
in the dark
the gators can't get me
i wrestle, dance,
and slip by the snakes
but the leaches sometimes kill me a little
i can not forget to pull them off
to be free again
get the fuck out of the swamp dumby
it is creepy and unnecessary!
get out.
go on a fucking picnic already
in a sunny place
where pink flowers fall from the sky
raining beautiful all around you
don't get bit
enjoy the beauty, the grace
say goodbye first
you are lost enough already
go home
scoop up your loves
and win
be the big winner
of the most fabulous prize of all
and soak up the kisses and the lovin
and love it
and give it all back
don't take it for granted
don't scatter all of your magic
to the winds
plant the most where it counts
make your garden divine,
your castle strong,
your temple holy,
your sweethearts happy.
Two little Terrorists
Jesus Christo! my two little terrorists
it is so perfect, they have reunited
and look exactly like a couple of terrorists
funny that they are
god, I am silly
I hope the FBI does'nt stumble across that photo
their little cell of genius heartache
haul 'em off to Guantanamo
oh I am getting so old
to live with this virus
but I only feel it when it is damp, or something
Heartbreaker tattooed to your ass
indeed
it is so perfect, they have reunited
and look exactly like a couple of terrorists
funny that they are
god, I am silly
I hope the FBI does'nt stumble across that photo
their little cell of genius heartache
haul 'em off to Guantanamo
oh I am getting so old
to live with this virus
but I only feel it when it is damp, or something
Heartbreaker tattooed to your ass
indeed
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
winter romance
i can feel the miles
move me from where i've been
i feel the sacredness of winter
the magic of ice
the softness of snow
the sparkle, the glitter
dancing light like stars
and the ships in the harbor at night
i devour the flesh my pillow
the warm hands
the laughter
the kind eyes
the silliness
this too shall pass
move me from where i've been
i feel the sacredness of winter
the magic of ice
the softness of snow
the sparkle, the glitter
dancing light like stars
and the ships in the harbor at night
i devour the flesh my pillow
the warm hands
the laughter
the kind eyes
the silliness
this too shall pass
i remember you
i remember you
i remember hugging in my kitchen, your kitchen
i remember talking to you in the early morning
late late in the night
under a big fat orange moon
i remember you
we were swimming in the quarry
in the dark, naked
i remember us walking down the chilly willy
NYC streets, talking talking, smoke breathing, talking
i remember watching you so many times
melting into the sight of your sleep
i remember hurting
i remember holding you through the night
kissing you awake
crawling just like i wanted to
wrapped up inside
i remember calling you
darkness, floors, so far in there, out there
i remember that kiss goodbye always
i remember holding your hand
i remember the lupine smell of my room
on my island by the sea
you there with me
i remember that street light on and off
wild bicycle afro, getting caught
i remember and forget again and again
i remember your smell all over my skin
i remember your eyes and each inch of your skin
and the fucking mess you left me in
i hear you say my name
yes, i remember you my love
oh my love, how i so miss.
i remember hugging in my kitchen, your kitchen
i remember talking to you in the early morning
late late in the night
under a big fat orange moon
i remember you
we were swimming in the quarry
in the dark, naked
i remember us walking down the chilly willy
NYC streets, talking talking, smoke breathing, talking
i remember watching you so many times
melting into the sight of your sleep
i remember hurting
i remember holding you through the night
kissing you awake
crawling just like i wanted to
wrapped up inside
i remember calling you
darkness, floors, so far in there, out there
i remember that kiss goodbye always
i remember holding your hand
i remember the lupine smell of my room
on my island by the sea
you there with me
i remember that street light on and off
wild bicycle afro, getting caught
i remember and forget again and again
i remember your smell all over my skin
i remember your eyes and each inch of your skin
and the fucking mess you left me in
i hear you say my name
yes, i remember you my love
oh my love, how i so miss.
shape of your lips
and so
i may still find my focus all tranced
into the shape of your lips
when you tell me those things
words you strain to find to say
and i have wanted for so long to hear
you can't quite say, don't quite have
and still i can not separate my gaze
from your lips, i become fingertips
and yes i do recall that sick and tired
of your nothing, shifting eyes
and always nowhere alibis
but alas no more
love do i cry
oh again again goodbye
these years, this lie
and i don't know why
i am still here
still here again
with you my friend
pouring out all of our remember whens
hazy reoccurring dream
sprung from a warmth in my belly
that made me sick so many times
but it creeps back in to my surprise
no matter how many goodbyes
can't know why
i may still find my focus all tranced
into the shape of your lips
when you tell me those things
words you strain to find to say
and i have wanted for so long to hear
you can't quite say, don't quite have
and still i can not separate my gaze
from your lips, i become fingertips
and yes i do recall that sick and tired
of your nothing, shifting eyes
and always nowhere alibis
but alas no more
love do i cry
oh again again goodbye
these years, this lie
and i don't know why
i am still here
still here again
with you my friend
pouring out all of our remember whens
hazy reoccurring dream
sprung from a warmth in my belly
that made me sick so many times
but it creeps back in to my surprise
no matter how many goodbyes
can't know why
May Queen
and so here in our kitchen of butterfly kisses
and crushes and broken heart
i am feathers, pretty, dear,
so dear, you know that i adore you
you all bubbles floating always to the great big sky
oh the feathers of your wings tickle my fancy
in my dreams, so sweet, in my dreams
be love, have love, all love,
and the ache and want to dissipate
in a place so hidden in the heart
these dreams, these words, and still this place
together again, and these questions, this desire
and you can do just whatever it is you like
please, please, she says
oh if i had words to make so beautiful
always always for you
thank you for this beautiful sunday so dear
sugarcubes sweet stop the growl in my belly
so we sing and dance here in this kitchen always
chain of flowers for your curls, majesty
may crowning of me to thee
smoking ceegars, eating lobster
here on a pink cloud fit for the easter bunny
magic we are
mystery passage
into a ritual religion
sleepy again
my love
my queen
and crushes and broken heart
i am feathers, pretty, dear,
so dear, you know that i adore you
you all bubbles floating always to the great big sky
oh the feathers of your wings tickle my fancy
in my dreams, so sweet, in my dreams
be love, have love, all love,
and the ache and want to dissipate
in a place so hidden in the heart
these dreams, these words, and still this place
together again, and these questions, this desire
and you can do just whatever it is you like
please, please, she says
oh if i had words to make so beautiful
always always for you
thank you for this beautiful sunday so dear
sugarcubes sweet stop the growl in my belly
so we sing and dance here in this kitchen always
chain of flowers for your curls, majesty
may crowning of me to thee
smoking ceegars, eating lobster
here on a pink cloud fit for the easter bunny
magic we are
mystery passage
into a ritual religion
sleepy again
my love
my queen
again a fool
you are already
leading me back
to the buzzing insanity
that hovers below my shell
around my core
i need to ignore you now
for a few thousand years
until i make better sense
of the emotional outbursts
that are hiding in my hedges
you tease this heart of mine
that is perched on tiptoes
knees bent
back ready to arch
arms to fly backwards
into the cool green
into the hot pink
and my body is uneasy
because my brain is fighting my heart
it exhausts my soul, these distractions
you are way too lucky
and i again a fool
leading me back
to the buzzing insanity
that hovers below my shell
around my core
i need to ignore you now
for a few thousand years
until i make better sense
of the emotional outbursts
that are hiding in my hedges
you tease this heart of mine
that is perched on tiptoes
knees bent
back ready to arch
arms to fly backwards
into the cool green
into the hot pink
and my body is uneasy
because my brain is fighting my heart
it exhausts my soul, these distractions
you are way too lucky
and i again a fool
Alice
Little elves they share the secret
with pixies scatter magic dust
all amongst the mushrooms feasting
dreaming always, for dream we must
So tells the caterpillar
through magic rings of smoke
these the clouds that hold our minds
and so to her I am thrust
And she grows taller, smaller then
and always a baby in the palm of my head
and she knows change, and she knows time
oh Alice wonder with those eyes so wild
Oh now Alice play my dear
and always ever after
as you dance away child to the great beyond
may you always go with laughter
And laugh some more love, through your soul
you make this magic last,
and you can do, oh you can do
you hold the key to every door
It's in your heart, your soul, your mind
it is everything and more
So grows the caterpillar to a butterfly to the sky
oh you child, spread your wings my dear
and always fly so high
All of our treasures somehow change
right there before our eyes
for this the way the spider spins
the web that is our time
So always feel that wonder
let it open up your eyes
you wake up child, and live your dreams
never weary, never tired
and never ever be afraid
know and trust, behold the stars
be always true and kind and just
Believe in magic, in Cupid's arrow
in pixie's fairy dust
Be guided by the songs of birds
and creatures of the dark
and the light of fireflies
and by lightning's wild spark
Believe the song your mother sings
to her most precious one
You sing your own child
shout it out to the sun above
and the world around
to run through every river,
and float on every cloud,
to crash in ocean's waves
and as the thunder rolling through
the storms upon our days
And Alice, always be aware
of the grinning cheshire cat
So befriend all those that cross your path
especially the black
Make a cradle for baby birds
fallen from their nest
Cover the earth with flowers
Weave yourself a little crown
Believe in daisy's lovesongs
so many to be found
Listen to the ocean's tale
and learn from it my dear
unturn a stone to say hello
to salamanders living there
Run barefoot child
through all the fields
and beaches of your life
May you buzz as a bee
the world for you
a garden of sweetest delights
And when the Queen demands to know
exactly who you are
Don't lose your head child
for this you know
and simply will reply
I am Alice
I am sunshine
I am waves in ocean wild
I am Alice
I am moonshine
I am the star you wish upon
I am Alice
I am a flower growing
strong into the sky
I am a smile, a kiss
the sparkle in an eye
I am Alice
I am your sweetest dreams
that come true in their time
I am Alice
I am eyes that wonder
I am the knowing heart
I am drops of rain
and wind that stirs
the soul of everything
I am the very song that your own heart
can not forget to sing
I am Alice
I am butterflies
an angel in disguise
I am your laughter
and your tears
I am hope and love
and peace and light
I am the break of morning
and the quiet of the night
I am that land of wonder,
golden ticket, giant peach
I am the ache inside you
and the chances that you take
I am the very magic of pixies
the secret of elves beneath setting sun
I am Alice
I am Alice
I am mama's precious one
with pixies scatter magic dust
all amongst the mushrooms feasting
dreaming always, for dream we must
So tells the caterpillar
through magic rings of smoke
these the clouds that hold our minds
and so to her I am thrust
And she grows taller, smaller then
and always a baby in the palm of my head
and she knows change, and she knows time
oh Alice wonder with those eyes so wild
Oh now Alice play my dear
and always ever after
as you dance away child to the great beyond
may you always go with laughter
And laugh some more love, through your soul
you make this magic last,
and you can do, oh you can do
you hold the key to every door
It's in your heart, your soul, your mind
it is everything and more
So grows the caterpillar to a butterfly to the sky
oh you child, spread your wings my dear
and always fly so high
All of our treasures somehow change
right there before our eyes
for this the way the spider spins
the web that is our time
So always feel that wonder
let it open up your eyes
you wake up child, and live your dreams
never weary, never tired
and never ever be afraid
know and trust, behold the stars
be always true and kind and just
Believe in magic, in Cupid's arrow
in pixie's fairy dust
Be guided by the songs of birds
and creatures of the dark
and the light of fireflies
and by lightning's wild spark
Believe the song your mother sings
to her most precious one
You sing your own child
shout it out to the sun above
and the world around
to run through every river,
and float on every cloud,
to crash in ocean's waves
and as the thunder rolling through
the storms upon our days
And Alice, always be aware
of the grinning cheshire cat
So befriend all those that cross your path
especially the black
Make a cradle for baby birds
fallen from their nest
Cover the earth with flowers
Weave yourself a little crown
Believe in daisy's lovesongs
so many to be found
Listen to the ocean's tale
and learn from it my dear
unturn a stone to say hello
to salamanders living there
Run barefoot child
through all the fields
and beaches of your life
May you buzz as a bee
the world for you
a garden of sweetest delights
And when the Queen demands to know
exactly who you are
Don't lose your head child
for this you know
and simply will reply
I am Alice
I am sunshine
I am waves in ocean wild
I am Alice
I am moonshine
I am the star you wish upon
I am Alice
I am a flower growing
strong into the sky
I am a smile, a kiss
the sparkle in an eye
I am Alice
I am your sweetest dreams
that come true in their time
I am Alice
I am eyes that wonder
I am the knowing heart
I am drops of rain
and wind that stirs
the soul of everything
I am the very song that your own heart
can not forget to sing
I am Alice
I am butterflies
an angel in disguise
I am your laughter
and your tears
I am hope and love
and peace and light
I am the break of morning
and the quiet of the night
I am that land of wonder,
golden ticket, giant peach
I am the ache inside you
and the chances that you take
I am the very magic of pixies
the secret of elves beneath setting sun
I am Alice
I am Alice
I am mama's precious one
NJ Transit
yesterday on a train
i became entranced by a story
unfolding before my eyes
on a raspberry pastry advertisement
it was the tale of
a beautiful woman
i believe she was married to a farmer
i could see her silhouette
she was running to greet her love
who was returning to her
divinely dramatic, romantic
across this shiny purple stream
in this vast photo
the tiny figure of this woman
her love on the brink of quenching
it was she who assured me
that this here before me
was indeed delicious!
i became entranced by a story
unfolding before my eyes
on a raspberry pastry advertisement
it was the tale of
a beautiful woman
i believe she was married to a farmer
i could see her silhouette
she was running to greet her love
who was returning to her
divinely dramatic, romantic
across this shiny purple stream
in this vast photo
the tiny figure of this woman
her love on the brink of quenching
it was she who assured me
that this here before me
was indeed delicious!
Hunters Beach
go to the ocean
let your eyes fall to the sea
carry your soul in the ebb and flow
be soft in the light dancing on the ripples
and feel the rocks through your flesh
be still enough to listen
to the swirling and the rolling
be as fluid as the seaweed's dance
quiet enough to hear the sirens' voices
inhale the peace of this always
rest high in this place of beyond
rise as the new pink sun
go forth as the ocean's breeze
do your work on earth
and always return to the sea
let your eyes fall to the sea
carry your soul in the ebb and flow
be soft in the light dancing on the ripples
and feel the rocks through your flesh
be still enough to listen
to the swirling and the rolling
be as fluid as the seaweed's dance
quiet enough to hear the sirens' voices
inhale the peace of this always
rest high in this place of beyond
rise as the new pink sun
go forth as the ocean's breeze
do your work on earth
and always return to the sea
the wind
the wind
whispers
what i am glad to know
and if i am quiet enough
i hear what i forgot
it celebrates
the lightness of feathers
and moves trees to dancing
it sings me to sleep
and i am glad to know
the joy it brings
and thankful for
the way you walk
and look at me
and smile
for this time
and that i love you so
without wishing you mine
whispers
what i am glad to know
and if i am quiet enough
i hear what i forgot
it celebrates
the lightness of feathers
and moves trees to dancing
it sings me to sleep
and i am glad to know
the joy it brings
and thankful for
the way you walk
and look at me
and smile
for this time
and that i love you so
without wishing you mine
the fifth
the fifth
well i am full of wonder
here with my cold feet
beneath full moon
again adrift
yet anchored down
to myself here now
toss silver rings to the sea
for the sake of letting go
oh she pulls
how i wish for blood
well i am full of wonder
here with my cold feet
beneath full moon
again adrift
yet anchored down
to myself here now
toss silver rings to the sea
for the sake of letting go
oh she pulls
how i wish for blood
Bonnie and Bill
be as birds
fly where the clouds are soft
drift on the breeze
lose yourself in orange and pink
fall to rest in purple
and your own nest
will find you there
hear your children sing
and remember your own heartsong
it is not lost
but found to learn
and so with love
come ache and burn
and if your wings are weary
then rest
and if your heart is heavy
then cry
but breathe deep and
open your eyes and soul
in the eternal dawn awaken
i hold you in my heart
you'll not fall
feel the waves
of moon and sea
pulsing through our veins
this blood is ours
and rich is our strength
be light
oh loves
you are
fly where the clouds are soft
drift on the breeze
lose yourself in orange and pink
fall to rest in purple
and your own nest
will find you there
hear your children sing
and remember your own heartsong
it is not lost
but found to learn
and so with love
come ache and burn
and if your wings are weary
then rest
and if your heart is heavy
then cry
but breathe deep and
open your eyes and soul
in the eternal dawn awaken
i hold you in my heart
you'll not fall
feel the waves
of moon and sea
pulsing through our veins
this blood is ours
and rich is our strength
be light
oh loves
you are
tiny words
walking
through heaven
on water
follow me please
watch my mouth
feed my soul
through my body
taste my spirit
everlasting
a state of maine
a case of you
another pair of shoes
just wear skin
around your grin
upon your happy feet
keep them warm
in your mouth
if you really love me
tiny words tiny words
bouncing all around me
i may be the oldest one here
patterns, circles
i run in spiderwebs
all about
shut up shut up
remember
making a rose
you stay with me
in this soul
beyond time
yet your body has been
so so far away from mine
fingers fingers
forget
forget
through heaven
on water
follow me please
watch my mouth
feed my soul
through my body
taste my spirit
everlasting
a state of maine
a case of you
another pair of shoes
just wear skin
around your grin
upon your happy feet
keep them warm
in your mouth
if you really love me
tiny words tiny words
bouncing all around me
i may be the oldest one here
patterns, circles
i run in spiderwebs
all about
shut up shut up
remember
making a rose
you stay with me
in this soul
beyond time
yet your body has been
so so far away from mine
fingers fingers
forget
forget
every day
wind
church bells
roosters
the ocean
crickets
you
i hear
i see
grasshoppers
dragonflies
wild flowers
moss
ferns
moose
the lake from inside
you naked on that rock
in my bed
that morning
the trees and the sky
upon pine needles
i feel
the moon
the water
your hands
the waves in my belly
that music
that ache
that joy
that peace
that wind
that song
i smell
the leaves
the fall
the sea
your skin
my room
that time
the rain
the forest
i taste
that peach
your mouth
the sweet
always
i miss you
every day
church bells
roosters
the ocean
crickets
you
i hear
i see
grasshoppers
dragonflies
wild flowers
moss
ferns
moose
the lake from inside
you naked on that rock
in my bed
that morning
the trees and the sky
upon pine needles
i feel
the moon
the water
your hands
the waves in my belly
that music
that ache
that joy
that peace
that wind
that song
i smell
the leaves
the fall
the sea
your skin
my room
that time
the rain
the forest
i taste
that peach
your mouth
the sweet
always
i miss you
every day
my lonely
my lonely follows me like a stranger
through the streets of some deja vu city
i wander
you haunt me like a ghost
or some movie always on late at night
sadness creeps in with good reason
i cry for the collective tragedy
i am grateful for he who listens, understands
i a frustrated by who he is not
i feel the loss of her womb
the splinters of her shattered fantasy
we all fret and mourn
it is a wonder these marbles don't cripple us all
where are you?
how are you?
these questions reoccur like a rash
gravity has won this round
i need the floating, the joy
that fire, love a glow
memories taunt me
dissatisfaction reappears
like bills in my mailbox
what matters to you?
the spinning before me exhausts
time to retreat
recollect
make new
it seems that they are sowing poison
be true
through the streets of some deja vu city
i wander
you haunt me like a ghost
or some movie always on late at night
sadness creeps in with good reason
i cry for the collective tragedy
i am grateful for he who listens, understands
i a frustrated by who he is not
i feel the loss of her womb
the splinters of her shattered fantasy
we all fret and mourn
it is a wonder these marbles don't cripple us all
where are you?
how are you?
these questions reoccur like a rash
gravity has won this round
i need the floating, the joy
that fire, love a glow
memories taunt me
dissatisfaction reappears
like bills in my mailbox
what matters to you?
the spinning before me exhausts
time to retreat
recollect
make new
it seems that they are sowing poison
be true
lover
i seek
the arch of your feet
the curve of your ears
the tip of your nose
the light of your eyes
the soft of your lips
the taste of your mouth
i become
the curve of your back
the soft of your skin
the tips of your fingers
your breath on my neck
the warmth of your love
the beat of your heart
i float in
the joy of your laughter
the feel of your touch
the sound of your voice
i rejoice in your love
i celebrate your beautiful
i am so grateful
blessed in love with you
the arch of your feet
the curve of your ears
the tip of your nose
the light of your eyes
the soft of your lips
the taste of your mouth
i become
the curve of your back
the soft of your skin
the tips of your fingers
your breath on my neck
the warmth of your love
the beat of your heart
i float in
the joy of your laughter
the feel of your touch
the sound of your voice
i rejoice in your love
i celebrate your beautiful
i am so grateful
blessed in love with you
Echo Lake
the ants move over my body like a highway
and the elegant blue dragonflies pass by
the breeze, the fingers my body dreams of
my skin has wrapped my soul in summer sun
in this body of a child or a gypsy or a crone
in this time as the woman that i am
within the bugsong serenade
of my heartache and content
and i know change and i know time
and everyday i see your eyes
and somewhere i always wish
that you were beside me
but i know why does have its ways
and some time along the way
it always comes along and finds me
and still i fall to miss in dreams of you
all of this pent up love for you
oh my love, your shine makes them all so dull
you pull my heart in waves
that humble us and make us enormous
you are real to me
and the elegant blue dragonflies pass by
the breeze, the fingers my body dreams of
my skin has wrapped my soul in summer sun
in this body of a child or a gypsy or a crone
in this time as the woman that i am
within the bugsong serenade
of my heartache and content
and i know change and i know time
and everyday i see your eyes
and somewhere i always wish
that you were beside me
but i know why does have its ways
and some time along the way
it always comes along and finds me
and still i fall to miss in dreams of you
all of this pent up love for you
oh my love, your shine makes them all so dull
you pull my heart in waves
that humble us and make us enormous
you are real to me
some gig
inside that space
between your heel and toes
before her lens
inside the sound
and the eyeballs
Super Deluxe
you say
and they yell
and i check my pulse
swimming swimming
as if you knew the way
and you do
large mirrors
and laughter
see fingernails
and think of that place
on your shoulder
then
between your heel and toes
before her lens
inside the sound
and the eyeballs
Super Deluxe
you say
and they yell
and i check my pulse
swimming swimming
as if you knew the way
and you do
large mirrors
and laughter
see fingernails
and think of that place
on your shoulder
then
Let go
let it go
leave them all alone
be where you are
it is ever changing
let them go
blow a kiss in this breeze
become the green for yourself
please
good intentions
lost i love yous
hugs you can't let go of
seek the living
hold the present
let tears fall to the sound
turn the lights out
light the candles
let the lightning burn your church down
here this altar
rock of staying
before your temple
now is waving
and the sun it dresses everything
so light
move like a mermaid
float like an angel
curl like a kitten
in the warm
and i wonder
did you feel last night's storm?
i always wonder my love
leave them all alone
be where you are
it is ever changing
let them go
blow a kiss in this breeze
become the green for yourself
please
good intentions
lost i love yous
hugs you can't let go of
seek the living
hold the present
let tears fall to the sound
turn the lights out
light the candles
let the lightning burn your church down
here this altar
rock of staying
before your temple
now is waving
and the sun it dresses everything
so light
move like a mermaid
float like an angel
curl like a kitten
in the warm
and i wonder
did you feel last night's storm?
i always wonder my love
winter spiral
angels
you sing my soul
you play my heartsong
you are light
soft inside the darkness
you are whispers
giggles
holding hands
in the quiet of winter
this reminds me
of that place
deep within my peace
my knowing
and in the stillness
together we rejoice
and are grateful
for the light
we are blessed
in this magic
you sing my soul
you play my heartsong
you are light
soft inside the darkness
you are whispers
giggles
holding hands
in the quiet of winter
this reminds me
of that place
deep within my peace
my knowing
and in the stillness
together we rejoice
and are grateful
for the light
we are blessed
in this magic
Postal
So
inside the pouring rain
i wander in search of the F train
take me back to you
take me back to you
in my dreams
in those nights of rain and stars
in those days of ocean breeze
in my island in the sea
you come back to me
come back to me
oh this timeless everywhere
oh my love and miss
placed in boxes
dressed with stamps
i am drifting again
in the dream
inside the pouring rain
i wander in search of the F train
take me back to you
take me back to you
in my dreams
in those nights of rain and stars
in those days of ocean breeze
in my island in the sea
you come back to me
come back to me
oh this timeless everywhere
oh my love and miss
placed in boxes
dressed with stamps
i am drifting again
in the dream
Beware
You can't really know something
until you live it
a place becomes so familiar
eyes that seem to be the sky
i walk down your street
and i know that i love you
and i know why
yet i am full of doubt and wonder
if i had the choice
i would leave and greet each day with you
yet how can i know this
when the choice is not mine?
i make it up
my heart aches
my brain rattles
these places so different, so alike
the train moves slowly
beware
until you live it
a place becomes so familiar
eyes that seem to be the sky
i walk down your street
and i know that i love you
and i know why
yet i am full of doubt and wonder
if i had the choice
i would leave and greet each day with you
yet how can i know this
when the choice is not mine?
i make it up
my heart aches
my brain rattles
these places so different, so alike
the train moves slowly
beware
Sweet Melissa
Sweet Melissa,
May you dance among the feathers
in star shining and snowdrops.
Oh Otrick, may I see you in my dreams.
Perhaps that is my mermaid green.
And I do hope the people visit
to see all the stuff.
Oh I hope they are so wise as I.
I am very silly.
I love you very much.
Thank you for all that you gave me.
I am with you in outer space!
May you dance among the feathers
in star shining and snowdrops.
Oh Otrick, may I see you in my dreams.
Perhaps that is my mermaid green.
And I do hope the people visit
to see all the stuff.
Oh I hope they are so wise as I.
I am very silly.
I love you very much.
Thank you for all that you gave me.
I am with you in outer space!
exile the shadows
and you with your beardish mask
sad empty and teary eyed
i think of you and feel sad too
and won't let myself at all
i'd rather stop abusing the line
it is a scribble anyway
you left and i thank you
could miss you,
but i'll miss them instead
it is already too crowded in there
i'll leave you in the hall
of those i refuse haunting
you'd all get along well
so deceiving these roles
sometimes it is better to
let those candles burn out
appreciate the darkness
exile the shadows
sad empty and teary eyed
i think of you and feel sad too
and won't let myself at all
i'd rather stop abusing the line
it is a scribble anyway
you left and i thank you
could miss you,
but i'll miss them instead
it is already too crowded in there
i'll leave you in the hall
of those i refuse haunting
you'd all get along well
so deceiving these roles
sometimes it is better to
let those candles burn out
appreciate the darkness
exile the shadows
Swans
always return to the sea
with the question of stay
and the notion of love
i woke today in the ocean
disappointment chasing me
more is in the lead
change surrounds this race
of mine and time
i am not a very good pretender
you took me by surprise
summer is on her way
and so am i
i don't think i could stay
without leaving
i think it is soon time to go
this island is odd
another boy going back
up the birth canal
i feel like i am finished with this
don't need to know yet
must remember
it is the red ones that bite
with the question of stay
and the notion of love
i woke today in the ocean
disappointment chasing me
more is in the lead
change surrounds this race
of mine and time
i am not a very good pretender
you took me by surprise
summer is on her way
and so am i
i don't think i could stay
without leaving
i think it is soon time to go
this island is odd
another boy going back
up the birth canal
i feel like i am finished with this
don't need to know yet
must remember
it is the red ones that bite
the oakes
back again pretending
summer sun upon my breasts
floating floating again
and drifting through
the little waves of time
i miss them
funny to be together, watch you all
and question my realities and fantasies
what am i still to you? what are you now for me?
warm against my skin
or the skin of my dreams?
what will time bring?
two years gone by
who will be mine?
i am relieved to have lost that crazy
yet i miss it still the same
ache for ache
want for want
sleep softly in sweetness
and still
i do love you
summer sun upon my breasts
floating floating again
and drifting through
the little waves of time
i miss them
funny to be together, watch you all
and question my realities and fantasies
what am i still to you? what are you now for me?
warm against my skin
or the skin of my dreams?
what will time bring?
two years gone by
who will be mine?
i am relieved to have lost that crazy
yet i miss it still the same
ache for ache
want for want
sleep softly in sweetness
and still
i do love you
uphill with gravel
uphill with gravel
i cruise by a summer morning
when everything was so alive
the fix and the sweet sweet baker
pass us rolling on the green
love seeping from giddy pores
i lay to sleep in this bed
give me some sage and a flame
let the spirit fly
drift to cold feet and soft hands
the red invasion and the sting
in this ghost town i met you in
make it new
twenty tiny fingers and toes
four eyes fresh with know
and i make it so heavy
just to feel the light
and i still feel you everywhere
but it is better with a bike!
i cruise by a summer morning
when everything was so alive
the fix and the sweet sweet baker
pass us rolling on the green
love seeping from giddy pores
i lay to sleep in this bed
give me some sage and a flame
let the spirit fly
drift to cold feet and soft hands
the red invasion and the sting
in this ghost town i met you in
make it new
twenty tiny fingers and toes
four eyes fresh with know
and i make it so heavy
just to feel the light
and i still feel you everywhere
but it is better with a bike!
artis
and the greenlight carpet
rolls before
her holiness honeyhead
and i have
the honor and pleasure
of riding shotgun
with sweetness
rolls before
her holiness honeyhead
and i have
the honor and pleasure
of riding shotgun
with sweetness
grattitude
Thank you for making me feel so alive
in a world that makes me feel numb.
Thank you for letting me feel sweet and warm
after having had to be so rough and hard.
It is a blessing to be strong and gentle.
It is a blessing to feel desire without being consumed by it.
It is good to feel the giddiness of anticipation,
and still feel calm and patient.
It is grace to know that love is strong and true
and time is enormous.
It is good to know that you are alive
and share my life my friend.
in a world that makes me feel numb.
Thank you for letting me feel sweet and warm
after having had to be so rough and hard.
It is a blessing to be strong and gentle.
It is a blessing to feel desire without being consumed by it.
It is good to feel the giddiness of anticipation,
and still feel calm and patient.
It is grace to know that love is strong and true
and time is enormous.
It is good to know that you are alive
and share my life my friend.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Long Pond
i enter the water to leave this time
to be quiet green
to be alone
you move in and out of my thoughts
without my consent
i descend to the beyond
to a space too large for you
each of these moments is a story
some of you stir my soul
i wonder if a single day passes
without you
why i want to keep it and frame it
in this cloud words fall slow
the song plays for days
and then leaves
i wonder what they remember
i wonder if you are just like a song
i am afraid to free the space you take
to lose my knowing
to gain more miss
to be quiet green
to be alone
you move in and out of my thoughts
without my consent
i descend to the beyond
to a space too large for you
each of these moments is a story
some of you stir my soul
i wonder if a single day passes
without you
why i want to keep it and frame it
in this cloud words fall slow
the song plays for days
and then leaves
i wonder what they remember
i wonder if you are just like a song
i am afraid to free the space you take
to lose my knowing
to gain more miss
velvet
and romance
it is a tragedy
disguised in velvet fantasy
oh these quaint romantic tragedies
always stirring and thickening
the soul of me
Saturday, February 20, 2010
put a stamp on it
Love rides over the Brooklyn Bridge with flashing lights.
I will put a stamp on it.
I will put a stamp on it.
homecoming king
and here inside the wind it is quiet
i love when you are home
i'd keep you for 10,ooo years i swear
no question when you are here
vision changes
i fall to the shape of your mouth
the shadow of your eyelashes
still it is different
a thousand years the same
i love when you are home
i'd keep you for 10,ooo years i swear
no question when you are here
vision changes
i fall to the shape of your mouth
the shadow of your eyelashes
still it is different
a thousand years the same
eyes
you with the eyes that don't shut up
and the mouth so quiet
you with the sweetness
and you with all that time gone by
you of my dreams
asleep, awake, dancing
and the mouth so quiet
you with the sweetness
and you with all that time gone by
you of my dreams
asleep, awake, dancing
sister song
she says, "i know"
with her eyes, her words, her laughter, her tears, her touch
she understands
she knows how to love
she sings and raises your voice
sister
she makes a picture
and walks through it with you
she listens, she sees
she tells the truth
she gets tired sometimes
sometimes she wakes you
or gives you a blanket
she feeds you
she drinks your milk
she makes you tea with honey
she loves
you swim in the same ocean
you are she
you dance in the same moon
you are she
you are the stars shining
you are the light
feel as full of her as you are
don't be hungry
be full
embrace yourself and be full
and celebrate
sisters
with her eyes, her words, her laughter, her tears, her touch
she understands
she knows how to love
she sings and raises your voice
sister
she makes a picture
and walks through it with you
she listens, she sees
she tells the truth
she gets tired sometimes
sometimes she wakes you
or gives you a blanket
she feeds you
she drinks your milk
she makes you tea with honey
she loves
you swim in the same ocean
you are she
you dance in the same moon
you are she
you are the stars shining
you are the light
feel as full of her as you are
don't be hungry
be full
embrace yourself and be full
and celebrate
sisters
feathers and flip flops
thinking about her magic ring
that rests within red satin
with all of her fancy outfits
and my fancy lilac nails
oh feathers and flip flops
cocktails and eyeshadow
lipstick, buttons and sweet sweet sweet
fancy fancy free
my mind sneaks around
his ramblings
green eyes smiling
full of golden sun
snicker at the notion of "one"
and this pesky hankering for that
and he is still talking
my smirk urges him to cease
i spy red berries, think of her
red lips oh so lovely
first and last kisses
buildings and bridges
casting petals to
sail upon the waters of life
that rests within red satin
with all of her fancy outfits
and my fancy lilac nails
oh feathers and flip flops
cocktails and eyeshadow
lipstick, buttons and sweet sweet sweet
fancy fancy free
my mind sneaks around
his ramblings
green eyes smiling
full of golden sun
snicker at the notion of "one"
and this pesky hankering for that
and he is still talking
my smirk urges him to cease
i spy red berries, think of her
red lips oh so lovely
first and last kisses
buildings and bridges
casting petals to
sail upon the waters of life
magdaline
I saw him crown fallen with the face of a child lost from his mother. I wanted to touch his face and say, "remember. don't you remember at all?"
Laila
i woke up
with joy and the wind this morning
it is dancing now
through her words
leading my thoughts
to autumn and peace
time flies on this breeze
people come and go
like flowers
i adore
take it easy i say
don't feel so hard
let it be fluffy
like her birthday drink
let it be big as her ruby red smile
as full as her laughter
with joy and the wind this morning
it is dancing now
through her words
leading my thoughts
to autumn and peace
time flies on this breeze
people come and go
like flowers
i adore
take it easy i say
don't feel so hard
let it be fluffy
like her birthday drink
let it be big as her ruby red smile
as full as her laughter
purple hearts
we all wear purple
good soldiers, decorated hearts
gold and velvet don't compensate for this war
we all sweat, smile, laugh, cry, sing, dance, break
we are all hungry and breathing
some hunger is neon, some is the wind
some screams and some the softest silence
and i cursed your blind
in my hunger strike
maybe some time, maybe some day
until then this queen keep it safe
sing it to sleep
place the dreams in a box
and awaken
because she told me, no one cares anyway
we are all good soldiers
lost and found
our legion the world around
do we know our brothers, sisters
give our hand or shoot their back
could you look me in the eye while you pull the trigger?
would you remember then that you knew me?
we are all this song
we all tremble and shake
we are all this place
we are all this taste
if you heard this in the quiet of your slumber
would you know my voice?
no i will not scream for you,
nor spill more blood this way
so exhausted
good soldiers
rest in peace
dream sweet
i hear the drums
and feel my voice
and hear my song rising
we march on
good soldiers
good soldiers, decorated hearts
gold and velvet don't compensate for this war
we all sweat, smile, laugh, cry, sing, dance, break
we are all hungry and breathing
some hunger is neon, some is the wind
some screams and some the softest silence
and i cursed your blind
in my hunger strike
maybe some time, maybe some day
until then this queen keep it safe
sing it to sleep
place the dreams in a box
and awaken
because she told me, no one cares anyway
we are all good soldiers
lost and found
our legion the world around
do we know our brothers, sisters
give our hand or shoot their back
could you look me in the eye while you pull the trigger?
would you remember then that you knew me?
we are all this song
we all tremble and shake
we are all this place
we are all this taste
if you heard this in the quiet of your slumber
would you know my voice?
no i will not scream for you,
nor spill more blood this way
so exhausted
good soldiers
rest in peace
dream sweet
i hear the drums
and feel my voice
and hear my song rising
we march on
good soldiers
last time
and i wake to your smile
your praise to the sister
and i am grinning
in a dream
and i hold this time
in a wave
yet a wave
will not be held
your praise to the sister
and i am grinning
in a dream
and i hold this time
in a wave
yet a wave
will not be held
salty dog
and if i had a dream
you'd be there
and you'd rescue me in a station wagon
and take me upon the sea
and everyone else would just stare
and i'd tell you i'd keep you forever
if you'd stay with me
and the waves would wash over us
but i'd wake in the clear
and the soft blue and pink
and you there
you'd be there
and you'd rescue me in a station wagon
and take me upon the sea
and everyone else would just stare
and i'd tell you i'd keep you forever
if you'd stay with me
and the waves would wash over us
but i'd wake in the clear
and the soft blue and pink
and you there
pretty stranger
radiant divine
upon pink and blue twilight
waits for this diva queen
swept here across the sea
shining here
a star
your boots are perfect
my eyes dance across your beautiful
i float on your words
sweet voice
pretty mouth
i can't stop looking at you
i want you to keep
talking
upon pink and blue twilight
waits for this diva queen
swept here across the sea
shining here
a star
your boots are perfect
my eyes dance across your beautiful
i float on your words
sweet voice
pretty mouth
i can't stop looking at you
i want you to keep
talking
head full of lake
and time
my sense of it lately
is so strange
change change change
time space distance
movement stillness
speed slowness
visions and feelings
remember forget
and wonder
always
words words words
falling from my fingertips
when pouring then
maybe lost from my lips
that sing you sometimes
stay there
come here
i hear
is the noise this way
fade out
into rainsong
go smoke in it
enjoy the quiet
noise of my head full of lake
slowly drains
as it pleases
my sense of it lately
is so strange
change change change
time space distance
movement stillness
speed slowness
visions and feelings
remember forget
and wonder
always
words words words
falling from my fingertips
when pouring then
maybe lost from my lips
that sing you sometimes
stay there
come here
i hear
is the noise this way
fade out
into rainsong
go smoke in it
enjoy the quiet
noise of my head full of lake
slowly drains
as it pleases
peepers
the wind is whipping through here
the loons and peepers scream back at it
as it tears down this lane
like a bowling ball
the loons and peepers scream back at it
as it tears down this lane
like a bowling ball
mine
and yes how i love the feel of it within me
here so that it is so simply and clearly, purely mine
as it is so so so and then the fog does kiss the earth so
cloud it over so close we must sing through it
hear the tiny crack before it breaks
and so then be there and open then there
so you can drink it up through those genius eyes
the vibe and so warm wrap you up at night
inhale and embrace with fingertip trace
this all so beautiful
i am and it rattles within me
of course my brain spins
and so kiss them each in time
and then there go
caress them in a rhyme
and then there go
and sleep so sweet
please yes
so glow
and fly
and smile so clearly
they hang on it
here so that it is so simply and clearly, purely mine
as it is so so so and then the fog does kiss the earth so
cloud it over so close we must sing through it
hear the tiny crack before it breaks
and so then be there and open then there
so you can drink it up through those genius eyes
the vibe and so warm wrap you up at night
inhale and embrace with fingertip trace
this all so beautiful
i am and it rattles within me
of course my brain spins
and so kiss them each in time
and then there go
caress them in a rhyme
and then there go
and sleep so sweet
please yes
so glow
and fly
and smile so clearly
they hang on it
the birds and the bees
My heart is full of bees
and they wont shut up
oh this buzzing
and my head is full of birds
and they are flying
around and around
dive bombing their
reflections
in my eyeballs
and they wont shut up
oh this buzzing
and my head is full of birds
and they are flying
around and around
dive bombing their
reflections
in my eyeballs
michele
water we are inside
we swim these
tides and streams
are you and i
run through
we swim and float
so high
swirl of time gone by
oh how we play
and you and i
wrapped in this peace
are water and her
mirror sky
always always
you and i
blue runs through
our veins
the tears in our eyes
taste of salt
sweat or skin
oh crash
into me again
waves
over we
through we
ride it on
ride it on
all blue
and green
and red
beyond
we swim these
tides and streams
are you and i
run through
we swim and float
so high
swirl of time gone by
oh how we play
and you and i
wrapped in this peace
are water and her
mirror sky
always always
you and i
blue runs through
our veins
the tears in our eyes
taste of salt
sweat or skin
oh crash
into me again
waves
over we
through we
ride it on
ride it on
all blue
and green
and red
beyond
mermaid bicycle
kidnap you on a mermaid bicycle
take you to my lagoon
my belly still moving in waves
dreaming sweet of you
take you to my lagoon
my belly still moving in waves
dreaming sweet of you
swiss miss
be here
and be light
leave all weight behind
close your eyes
take a deep breath
open them
and see what you are
feel your butterfly wings
and flyhallelujah
i
float
upon
the
major
lift
elevated
so
high
upon
most
luxurious
throne
my bliss
overflowing
into
finest
chalice
vision
speckled
lights
i
shake
among
the
campbell
soup cans
and
laundry
sweet
sweet
hallelujah
ink bleeding into paper
and inside the night
it is so quiet, warm
i lay here in peace
with one of the greats
with one whose hand i've
been holding for quite some time
we are full like a belly
we are like babies
wrapped snug
and the lightning dances
at the windows
and the goodness flows
in rivers in this place
as my body
so sweet for sleeping
inside awakens
beautiful
i am a sister in this village
of life
my family grows and shines
all around me
like stars in a desert sky
and our web grows
like ink bleeding into paper
it is so quiet, warm
i lay here in peace
with one of the greats
with one whose hand i've
been holding for quite some time
we are full like a belly
we are like babies
wrapped snug
and the lightning dances
at the windows
and the goodness flows
in rivers in this place
as my body
so sweet for sleeping
inside awakens
beautiful
i am a sister in this village
of life
my family grows and shines
all around me
like stars in a desert sky
and our web grows
like ink bleeding into paper
Friday, February 19, 2010
independence day
i become the lake today
i've gone beneath the surface
i see her face and smile
i want what i can't have
today you rang in me like church bells
calling out from
my ancient always everywhere
your face the light that pulls me
perhaps this deep green
i am searching through
i make you up
i miss you so
you break my heart
i love you so
this obscure element
moves closer to definition
go to sleep
it is complete
independently always
i've gone beneath the surface
i see her face and smile
i want what i can't have
today you rang in me like church bells
calling out from
my ancient always everywhere
your face the light that pulls me
perhaps this deep green
i am searching through
i make you up
i miss you so
you break my heart
i love you so
this obscure element
moves closer to definition
go to sleep
it is complete
independently always
*this obscure element
this obscure element
illuminates the aching of my soul
and the trickery of my mind
it dances around the ripeness of my full
and plays in the shadows of my empty
i am haunted by eyes lips and fingertips
and temptations whispered summertime
as she giggles
and leads lovers to rain flowers on my bed
and friends to plant gardens to catch my rain
in a daydream i can still feel the belly flips
in the quiet i can still feel my heart break
in the stillness i float complete
all of you just swirl around me
flirting like dragonflies
we see Undine beneath the moon
the stars shine on our know
watch my sister garden grow
time does not stop at will
long for the stars in my belly
in waves find them there
afloat again
a head full of lake
and a heart full of flowers
a song full of words i've yet to speak
illuminates the aching of my soul
and the trickery of my mind
it dances around the ripeness of my full
and plays in the shadows of my empty
i am haunted by eyes lips and fingertips
and temptations whispered summertime
as she giggles
and leads lovers to rain flowers on my bed
and friends to plant gardens to catch my rain
in a daydream i can still feel the belly flips
in the quiet i can still feel my heart break
in the stillness i float complete
all of you just swirl around me
flirting like dragonflies
we see Undine beneath the moon
the stars shine on our know
watch my sister garden grow
time does not stop at will
long for the stars in my belly
in waves find them there
afloat again
a head full of lake
and a heart full of flowers
a song full of words i've yet to speak
canary
sweet dream
reoccurs in waves in my belly
oh the sweet sweet wonders of sleep
in this wonderland
am i the biggest canary?
in this deja vu
summer screams again,
"she's ripe, so ripe so eat"
and time slips away with her
swallowed whole down to her toes
she's gone back to that place
between death and birth
blood spirit spiral high
still remembers you and i
yet knows here this time
feels the parade approaching
big fireworks sigh
time gone by, she knows
awake and alive in this quiet night
dreams go by in a kiss goodnight
still feel the fingers and eyes
faces blend together
still now she tries to awaken
get her rest
be sweet in this dream
trust sister summer's schemes
good night
rest high
have peace
be light
reoccurs in waves in my belly
oh the sweet sweet wonders of sleep
in this wonderland
am i the biggest canary?
in this deja vu
summer screams again,
"she's ripe, so ripe so eat"
and time slips away with her
swallowed whole down to her toes
she's gone back to that place
between death and birth
blood spirit spiral high
still remembers you and i
yet knows here this time
feels the parade approaching
big fireworks sigh
time gone by, she knows
awake and alive in this quiet night
dreams go by in a kiss goodnight
still feel the fingers and eyes
faces blend together
still now she tries to awaken
get her rest
be sweet in this dream
trust sister summer's schemes
good night
rest high
have peace
be light
siren song
she sings among the sirens
oh how you draw the blood of me
you
make me bleed
stir my soul
so i overflow
pouring
like those tears
your screams
my smiles
lost in you
oh i am so in love with love
i am so in love with you
oh how you draw the blood of me
you
make me bleed
stir my soul
so i overflow
pouring
like those tears
your screams
my smiles
lost in you
oh i am so in love with love
i am so in love with you
desire
i want
to be a daydream
a fantasy
to be ached for
and celebrated
to be missed when i am not around
to be kissed like i am forbidden
touched like divinity
played to and sung about
to be muse
to be held like forever
tickled often
thanked with sweetness
to be loved as the most beautiful
exalted as queen
revered as saint
respect as mother
adored as child
desired like a goddess
loved completely
blessed
to be a daydream
a fantasy
to be ached for
and celebrated
to be missed when i am not around
to be kissed like i am forbidden
touched like divinity
played to and sung about
to be muse
to be held like forever
tickled often
thanked with sweetness
to be loved as the most beautiful
exalted as queen
revered as saint
respect as mother
adored as child
desired like a goddess
loved completely
blessed
silvia
today
i sit on her couch
and there is no place i would rather be
i feel the trains moving beneath me
i see pictures of him i scarcely recognize
that draw my miss and forgiveness
i feel peaceful and tired
i feel quiet in here
i've got the directions and my map
i read it again and again
all of the words, the pages
letters straining to construct a shelter
for me and these shrines to love
elaborately decorating the candle lit corridors
of my never ending past
i keep it all
and keep holy the sabbath
you chose all of the right objects
so i thought you would stay
but you didn't remember
and i can not forget
i write you letters you will never receive
to tell you everything i can't
and they are never complete
it is never enough
it is beyond words, paper, pictures
it is of the soul, it is in the eyes
it is as strong as the sea
as large as the sky
she'll be home soon
another perfect soul
patron goddess saint
the flowers i place on your altar
hang as postcards in your shower curtain
to rain my love each day
she is home
i grin
love
i sit on her couch
and there is no place i would rather be
i feel the trains moving beneath me
i see pictures of him i scarcely recognize
that draw my miss and forgiveness
i feel peaceful and tired
i feel quiet in here
i've got the directions and my map
i read it again and again
all of the words, the pages
letters straining to construct a shelter
for me and these shrines to love
elaborately decorating the candle lit corridors
of my never ending past
i keep it all
and keep holy the sabbath
you chose all of the right objects
so i thought you would stay
but you didn't remember
and i can not forget
i write you letters you will never receive
to tell you everything i can't
and they are never complete
it is never enough
it is beyond words, paper, pictures
it is of the soul, it is in the eyes
it is as strong as the sea
as large as the sky
she'll be home soon
another perfect soul
patron goddess saint
the flowers i place on your altar
hang as postcards in your shower curtain
to rain my love each day
she is home
i grin
love
evergreen
if you seek a friend
you may not find one
just because you like the sound of a laugh
or the music their fingers make
just because you know they are good
does not your friend make
it is hard to live among closed doors
disillusion heavy in the air
move then to the space that you know
without walls and doors
stop knocking at those
that made your heart beat so
sometimes goodbye is lasting
and your heart will always play tricks
and you will always ache with miss
but let go of what is gone
and don't sweat to hold what you can not
memory and perception
are as fragile as feelings hurt
beside magic lights in a lake
on a summer night swept with ache
don't wait for spring to come alive
you are evergreen
have always been the queen
i remember holding you
through our pain relieved me
and i knew then with deep sadness
that i dreaded this goodbye
for you meant it
and i would be left missing you
sleeping with your memory
and watching tv on your couch
in everything i should perhaps focus on
i get swept away in waves and skin
retrieve my knowing from the lost and found
again and again
i convict myself to the prison of time gone by
and there stare at myself
numbly demanding release
i see myself on the other side
and sometimes find myself there
it is a shame that my window has bars
perhaps that is why i wake up this way
watch silly shoes move onto delancy street
peace on the F train
feeling the city above me
and the quiet within me
soon i will be gone
you were never real to me
i must remember this
you may not find one
just because you like the sound of a laugh
or the music their fingers make
just because you know they are good
does not your friend make
it is hard to live among closed doors
disillusion heavy in the air
move then to the space that you know
without walls and doors
stop knocking at those
that made your heart beat so
sometimes goodbye is lasting
and your heart will always play tricks
and you will always ache with miss
but let go of what is gone
and don't sweat to hold what you can not
memory and perception
are as fragile as feelings hurt
beside magic lights in a lake
on a summer night swept with ache
don't wait for spring to come alive
you are evergreen
have always been the queen
i remember holding you
through our pain relieved me
and i knew then with deep sadness
that i dreaded this goodbye
for you meant it
and i would be left missing you
sleeping with your memory
and watching tv on your couch
in everything i should perhaps focus on
i get swept away in waves and skin
retrieve my knowing from the lost and found
again and again
i convict myself to the prison of time gone by
and there stare at myself
numbly demanding release
i see myself on the other side
and sometimes find myself there
it is a shame that my window has bars
perhaps that is why i wake up this way
watch silly shoes move onto delancy street
peace on the F train
feeling the city above me
and the quiet within me
soon i will be gone
you were never real to me
i must remember this
the veranda
another day,
another visit
another boy with blue hair
or green whatever anyhow
and then the two drunks
who think that know everything about love
i hope i scare the hell out of you
i am glad that i do
i feel bad for who you are to me
because you are such a baby
and you didn't mean it
i don't care
because you let me down
watch your words when they're so full of shit
they'll come right back to bite you
too bad for all of you
who will bear the brunt of their damage
in any event
to you
a big fuck you
another visit
another boy with blue hair
or green whatever anyhow
and then the two drunks
who think that know everything about love
i hope i scare the hell out of you
i am glad that i do
i feel bad for who you are to me
because you are such a baby
and you didn't mean it
i don't care
because you let me down
watch your words when they're so full of shit
they'll come right back to bite you
too bad for all of you
who will bear the brunt of their damage
in any event
to you
a big fuck you
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Diablo
i watched the devil tonight
in a top hat and cape of red
breathing smoke and drinking fire
stealing wine
the king of rags, the pope of junkyards
grinning with sinister delight
throwing and shaking and beating
the hearts tied to ribbons
which scream for escape
yet dance in his trance
she called him a snake charmer
and refused to be a snake
i saw it beneath shooting stars
upon the tower prison of a princess
heart defiled
within the sharp of winter he held her eyes
"don't fall under the basket," i whisper
i watch from the right invisible
and if the church doesn't tell me a rooster does
but time is the ocean, just like us
and i could be anywhere
perhaps it is hell, perhaps i am not here
he stuck his tongue out at the devil
i will never come back
though he'll haunt me in my dreams
because he fucked my soul
i am bleeding again, it will cleanse me of this
can't paint it any color but red
i watched the devil tonight and knew his name
and when he looked at my face
through my hatred he drew my smile
i kissed him goodbye, both cheeks, this lie
and hated myself for wanting to kiss his mouth
so i must leave this place,
but someday when he explodes
i'll feel it and weep
perhaps cry with relief
in a top hat and cape of red
breathing smoke and drinking fire
stealing wine
the king of rags, the pope of junkyards
grinning with sinister delight
throwing and shaking and beating
the hearts tied to ribbons
which scream for escape
yet dance in his trance
she called him a snake charmer
and refused to be a snake
i saw it beneath shooting stars
upon the tower prison of a princess
heart defiled
within the sharp of winter he held her eyes
"don't fall under the basket," i whisper
i watch from the right invisible
and if the church doesn't tell me a rooster does
but time is the ocean, just like us
and i could be anywhere
perhaps it is hell, perhaps i am not here
he stuck his tongue out at the devil
i will never come back
though he'll haunt me in my dreams
because he fucked my soul
i am bleeding again, it will cleanse me of this
can't paint it any color but red
i watched the devil tonight and knew his name
and when he looked at my face
through my hatred he drew my smile
i kissed him goodbye, both cheeks, this lie
and hated myself for wanting to kiss his mouth
so i must leave this place,
but someday when he explodes
i'll feel it and weep
perhaps cry with relief
daydreamer
i am that child he speaks of
i have always been her
gone out that window
into the sky
into that wonderful away
my heart tells more stories
than my head or hands can handle
serpent's song
delight
i have always been her
gone out that window
into the sky
into that wonderful away
my heart tells more stories
than my head or hands can handle
serpent's song
delight
trespass
and when
i am on my island far away
i hope i don't see your face
there in the ocean's embrace
i pray me
you to erase
tresspasser in my peace
you and your child
in my dreams
and your songs
echoing
through
me
the sads
sometimes my sadness sneaks up on me
and embraces me with arms stronger than his ever were
sometimes my grief takes me over
all i can do is weep as a child or a storm
and sometimes i am all dry and hollow like this drought
so many people break my heart, so many make me strong
and embraces me with arms stronger than his ever were
sometimes my grief takes me over
all i can do is weep as a child or a storm
and sometimes i am all dry and hollow like this drought
so many people break my heart, so many make me strong
haul off and love me
orange, purple and pink
and i wonder
are you appreciating
the cool breeze that i brought you
you with all of your silly serious
"haul off and love me" she wrote
i wrote a lot of things
he would never read, i never sent
words as pretty as my purple toenail polish
as true as a pink cloud and the easter bunny
as orange as the city is bright
and the dawn is eternal
and i wonder
are you appreciating
the cool breeze that i brought you
you with all of your silly serious
"haul off and love me" she wrote
i wrote a lot of things
he would never read, i never sent
words as pretty as my purple toenail polish
as true as a pink cloud and the easter bunny
as orange as the city is bright
and the dawn is eternal
union square 25
i've returned to my perch with the pigeons
two years and life is but a dream
i keep them in this time, my thoughts
fall to the way he suddenly appeared
and just the same then gone
but these squirrels distract me
just put another fist in my heart
someday it could be so hard it breaks someone's hand
thoughts and smiles return
to the sweet jester
the trouble with a little t
and the way sometimes i watch his eyes smiling
and think about kissing him again
i think very inappropriate thoughts
which already cooked our goose a year gone by
i am finally running out of miss
never thought i could
and i watch a pretty mama
and am thankful for shoes today
am thankful for my sisters
and i think it is funny that they keep the grass in this park behind bars
i am as old as time, my t-shirt may be older
i want to wear it everyday
we are so jumpy that the raindrops make us flinch
i've got plenty of work to do
sunday afternoon and the squirrels are nuts
union square 22, 23, 24, 25
i feel them coming and am not so sure
i am amazed at my emotional bootcamp
at my speedy recovery and the death of my love,
the farewell of my tears
"Don't fuck with me" is the banner across this miss
everyone falls apart
i am the queen.
two years and life is but a dream
i keep them in this time, my thoughts
fall to the way he suddenly appeared
and just the same then gone
but these squirrels distract me
just put another fist in my heart
someday it could be so hard it breaks someone's hand
thoughts and smiles return
to the sweet jester
the trouble with a little t
and the way sometimes i watch his eyes smiling
and think about kissing him again
i think very inappropriate thoughts
which already cooked our goose a year gone by
i am finally running out of miss
never thought i could
and i watch a pretty mama
and am thankful for shoes today
am thankful for my sisters
and i think it is funny that they keep the grass in this park behind bars
i am as old as time, my t-shirt may be older
i want to wear it everyday
we are so jumpy that the raindrops make us flinch
i've got plenty of work to do
sunday afternoon and the squirrels are nuts
union square 22, 23, 24, 25
i feel them coming and am not so sure
i am amazed at my emotional bootcamp
at my speedy recovery and the death of my love,
the farewell of my tears
"Don't fuck with me" is the banner across this miss
everyone falls apart
i am the queen.
relentless crush
11
and
tonight
i
will
see
you
again
and
so
the
butterflies
have
returned
to
my
belly
my
wings
caught
in
this
silly
web
i
weave
i
get
dizzy
on
the
F
train
again
vision
blurred
with
all
of
these
people
shifting
their
glances
taking
or
missing
their
chances
in
these
F
train
trances
and
i
am
coming
back
again
and
a
part
of
me
never
leaves
wish
i
didn't
feel
so
queasy
we
all
know
that
love
is
not
so
easy
.
Ricky & Linda
and i will get me a typewriter
and a little yellow pad
and craft you up some love letters
as if you were my man
and a little yellow pad
and craft you up some love letters
as if you were my man
august lament
summer has dried up this brook
and the autumn has fallen all over this forest floor
the black-eyed susans are already bidding farewell
and it's just begun august, though i smell september in here
i hear it at my feet and think of holding your hand in the forest
oh flirt with love, but don't dare love me
oh take my hand, but never my heart
it is so still, but not as still as cold
i could blink and find it is winter
i could breathe and there you'd be
there's always so much to september
there's always so deep in the green
and the autumn has fallen all over this forest floor
the black-eyed susans are already bidding farewell
and it's just begun august, though i smell september in here
i hear it at my feet and think of holding your hand in the forest
oh flirt with love, but don't dare love me
oh take my hand, but never my heart
it is so still, but not as still as cold
i could blink and find it is winter
i could breathe and there you'd be
there's always so much to september
there's always so deep in the green
farewell
and she cried, "i want you to stay by me"
pulled the tears from my eyes
a shame that smiles i missed you so
soon turn to tears goodbye
and home is always where i am
though i dream it far away
and true love's secret ingredient: stay
love the pull of gravity
of changing moon and waves in me
is butterscotch peppermint swap candies
so sweet delicious you taste to me
and i could be your girlfriend, best friend, sister, mother, wife,
a pixie butterfly about you
sprinkling glitter upon your life
pulled the tears from my eyes
a shame that smiles i missed you so
soon turn to tears goodbye
and home is always where i am
though i dream it far away
and true love's secret ingredient: stay
love the pull of gravity
of changing moon and waves in me
is butterscotch peppermint swap candies
so sweet delicious you taste to me
and i could be your girlfriend, best friend, sister, mother, wife,
a pixie butterfly about you
sprinkling glitter upon your life
training wheels
visualize yourself eating peas
sing like a freak
dance like a disco bitch
wear the fanciest of shoes
swim in the deep green
be quiet in the forest
and wild in the laundry room
leave as soon as you feel like it
find some time to stay
wear movie star glasses and lipstick
listen to children and feed their joy
recognize wisdom in everyone
respect the universal shine
let go of her bike and trust her to ride
get on your own and go!
sing like a freak
dance like a disco bitch
wear the fanciest of shoes
swim in the deep green
be quiet in the forest
and wild in the laundry room
leave as soon as you feel like it
find some time to stay
wear movie star glasses and lipstick
listen to children and feed their joy
recognize wisdom in everyone
respect the universal shine
let go of her bike and trust her to ride
get on your own and go!
birthday
and if i sold my soul to the devil
the joke on him
not for sale
flirt with the word "forever"
love is everywhere
puffy pigeon
purple, green and orange
"get there, get there"
and i will dance in celebration
of my years this time around
time is such a cheshire kitten
mitten in the lost and found
the joke on him
not for sale
flirt with the word "forever"
love is everywhere
puffy pigeon
purple, green and orange
"get there, get there"
and i will dance in celebration
of my years this time around
time is such a cheshire kitten
mitten in the lost and found
fire walk
daddy's gonna walk through fire again
because mama's finally found the door
i don't ever want to be as alone as he
so i'll stay by myself
oh break my heart a thousand times
so that no one else would dare
they've got 29 years of lies,
for 24 I was there
because mama's finally found the door
i don't ever want to be as alone as he
so i'll stay by myself
oh break my heart a thousand times
so that no one else would dare
they've got 29 years of lies,
for 24 I was there
phoebe
"you are the goddess and I am the fairy," she said
and I said, "yes."
we smiled
fill me up with all of your truth
fill me, i am full
all ladybugs and wings to fly
all about the sand and waves
and their smiles, shine and glow
little red ladies
strange yellow man
ms. betty blue
i am your man
and I said, "yes."
we smiled
fill me up with all of your truth
fill me, i am full
all ladybugs and wings to fly
all about the sand and waves
and their smiles, shine and glow
little red ladies
strange yellow man
ms. betty blue
i am your man
sweet sweet sweet
"it has nothing to do with pink," she said
I know what it is that we want
I wonder what you will be to me
I am glad for who you are
with time I see more clearly
what you have never been
and I love you anyway
and I love you just because
and I tell you in a state of grace
or maybe when I am drunk
sweet sweet sweet
i regally type again and again
in that basement
where i adore
you sweet sweet sweet
I know what it is that we want
I wonder what you will be to me
I am glad for who you are
with time I see more clearly
what you have never been
and I love you anyway
and I love you just because
and I tell you in a state of grace
or maybe when I am drunk
sweet sweet sweet
i regally type again and again
in that basement
where i adore
you sweet sweet sweet
haunting
you're more of a ghost here in your flesh
than ever in my haunting
you're the slightest glimpse of my remember when
you are scarcely of my mourning
and i don't even miss him anymore
the years my breath release
and the only time i still dream you
is when i sleep beside your flesh
than ever in my haunting
you're the slightest glimpse of my remember when
you are scarcely of my mourning
and i don't even miss him anymore
the years my breath release
and the only time i still dream you
is when i sleep beside your flesh
world full of punks
it is a world full of punks
of musicals and bicycles
bartenders and bagels
bellies and babies
coffee and beer
friends and flakes
rum and bourbon
crickets, quiet and thoughts
the people come and go
and keep going
they dream, cry, laugh,
and eat cake
i am tired
full of wonder and know
close my eyes
of musicals and bicycles
bartenders and bagels
bellies and babies
coffee and beer
friends and flakes
rum and bourbon
crickets, quiet and thoughts
the people come and go
and keep going
they dream, cry, laugh,
and eat cake
i am tired
full of wonder and know
close my eyes
faerytale
liquid lullaby and insect orchestra
and you against my skin
your breath a part of this song
i feel it on my neck, in my belly
and i could speak my words
anything to your ears or eyes through mine
and feel your touch
wrapping me up and it is home
i am home
i am home alone in this raindrop bugsong
i am home alone always here
and you do not exist
beyond such faerytale reoccurring dreams
and i know this
and i give you different names and faces
of the characters i cast in the role
of the ever disappointer
and i chose you
and i learn from you and my choices
and you, the grand fictitious you,
remain just that
a character of my fiction
to play in my heart
while my soul finds solace within
and extends into words,
thoughts on streets, trains
eyes met and left behind
in windows rolling over garbage in silver caterpillars
you may be in one and i on the platform
i may be lost for a moment in a pastry ad
and a year goes by like a subway
and i could get out anywhere
and you against my skin
your breath a part of this song
i feel it on my neck, in my belly
and i could speak my words
anything to your ears or eyes through mine
and feel your touch
wrapping me up and it is home
i am home
i am home alone in this raindrop bugsong
i am home alone always here
and you do not exist
beyond such faerytale reoccurring dreams
and i know this
and i give you different names and faces
of the characters i cast in the role
of the ever disappointer
and i chose you
and i learn from you and my choices
and you, the grand fictitious you,
remain just that
a character of my fiction
to play in my heart
while my soul finds solace within
and extends into words,
thoughts on streets, trains
eyes met and left behind
in windows rolling over garbage in silver caterpillars
you may be in one and i on the platform
i may be lost for a moment in a pastry ad
and a year goes by like a subway
and i could get out anywhere
White Trash Queenie
white trash queenie
eyes swimming
in the reflection
of chimneys
and telephone wires
in the puddle
watch them move
to motorcycle resonance
smoke another cigarette
upon YMCA throne
quiet raindrop alone
on the magnet island spinning
street corner assembly grinning
amongst all of the
little tragedies stuck in me
same in their eyes
tears on the edge of cry
we all know why
i
am leaving anyway
i am always leaving anyway
and always do return
to me, my melancholy
stormy gypsy love so far away
sister love
ache for love stay
but i always do
walk away
Spiderweb
My soul is a beautiful spiderweb
I spin with the deepest hunger
for the most delicious
They hypnotize me with their unearthly wings
I tremble with the desire to devour them
My ache glistens like raindrops
I move with the breeze
I am illuminated by the laughter of the full moon
It resonates through my belly
and dances barefoot on my grin
I wonder if they notice their reflections in me
I wonder if this web frightens?
Can they see the silver threads?
Do they feel the soft and warm?
Do they know the glitter they carry off on the soles of their feet?
Do they know how they feed this spinning and tease my hunger?
It is a song I knew before I ever heard it
It is music that is my blood
They are eyes that kissed mine in some once upon a time
The sweetness of blessed dreams
The magic children shine fresh with
from that place before our birth
I taste it like a peach in the forest
or the salt upon my lover full of sea
I find it in the green I descend through
in a temple carved by ice
I swim there with the souls of our long ago
and float upon the water
caressed by my sister sirens of the lake
slowly slips inside my body
The trembling whispers you
and I close my eyes and let the weight fall away
to rest below below with those rocks
who hold our time gone by
I open my eyes and inhale the stars i reflect
the web is made of these stars
i am this light
I spin with the deepest hunger
for the most delicious
They hypnotize me with their unearthly wings
I tremble with the desire to devour them
My ache glistens like raindrops
I move with the breeze
I am illuminated by the laughter of the full moon
It resonates through my belly
and dances barefoot on my grin
I wonder if they notice their reflections in me
I wonder if this web frightens?
Can they see the silver threads?
Do they feel the soft and warm?
Do they know the glitter they carry off on the soles of their feet?
Do they know how they feed this spinning and tease my hunger?
It is a song I knew before I ever heard it
It is music that is my blood
They are eyes that kissed mine in some once upon a time
The sweetness of blessed dreams
The magic children shine fresh with
from that place before our birth
I taste it like a peach in the forest
or the salt upon my lover full of sea
I find it in the green I descend through
in a temple carved by ice
I swim there with the souls of our long ago
and float upon the water
caressed by my sister sirens of the lake
slowly slips inside my body
The trembling whispers you
and I close my eyes and let the weight fall away
to rest below below with those rocks
who hold our time gone by
I open my eyes and inhale the stars i reflect
the web is made of these stars
i am this light
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